When nine-year-old Beatrice Delap wanted to organise a mutiny against her teachers, she knew who to call on.
And it took just one letter to enlist the aid of the world’s most famous pirate: Captain Jack Sparrow.
With only 10 minutes warning, Johnny Depp arrived at Meridian primary school, Greenwich, in full high-seas regalia with four other cast members.
Beatrice sent her appeal when she found out he was filming the latest instalment of Pirates Of The Caribbean at the Old Royal Naval College nearby. The letter said: “Captain Jack Sparrow, at Meridian primary school we are a bunch of budding young pirates. Normally we’re a right handful but we’re having trouble mutinying against the teachers.
“We’d love it if you could come and help. From Beatrice Delap, aged nine, a budding pirate.”
Depp strode into the school hall, brandished the letter and called her to the front. She said: “It was the most exciting school day ever. I had the idea to write the letter last week after me and a friend went to see the film set. Pat from the school office delivered it.
“Yesterday the school called us in for a special assembly at the end of the day. They told us there had been a couple of incidents in the playground.
“Then Johnny Depp walked in dressed as Captain Jack. There were gasps and screams. He pulled the letter out of his pocket and said he was going to frame it. Then he called me down and gave me a hug.”
Depp, 47, spent 15 minutes performing for pupils and dancing with fellow cast members. “He said the pirates were going to take over the school and only eat candy and our teeth would turn black and fall out,” added Beatrice. “But he said we shouldn’t mutiny against the teachers because there were police outside and we might get into trouble.”
London Evening Standard: Captain Jack Sparrow to the rescue as Johnny Depp helps London schoolgirl
Office Supplies of the Day: “STAMPS OF DISAPPROVAL” by Heather K. Phillips.
Gone are the days of tearing work from the wall. These days, disapproval often takes the form of ambiguous encouragements. Put the language of critique in your hands with this series of 12 rubber stamps. Each stamp bears of fragment of abridged feedback associated with critique.
Purchase them here. Noticeably absent: ಠ_ಠ
I would employ these mainly for stamping people’s foreheads.
although were I to get drunk and end up online, by morning my screen would be covered in red ink.
Poster(s) of the Day: Postertext — entire chapters from several classics, arranged around iconic scenes.
New posters added weekly. Contemporary literature coming soon. Requests welcome.
someone please buy this for me, PLEASE.
Mac’s Venomous Villains Collection
Oooooh boy I need a job.
Save The English Language!
The editors of Oxford University Press and the Oxford English Dictionary are concerned about all of the wonderful words in English that are ‘disappearing’ from the language from lack of use.
So, they’ve come up with a great solution: Adopt a Word.
It’s free to adopt a word, the words are old and weird and fun to use, you can buy a t-shirt with your word on it (only if you wish; it’s not a requirement), and you can choose your adopted word!
All you agree to, in adopting your word, is to use it! You can spray paint it on a wall, use it in a meeting, win a game of Scrabble with it, or even walk around town wearing a sign-board/sandwich-board with your word on it! (Or, you could wear the aforementioned t-shirt, if you want!)
I adopted the word foppotee, which is appropriate here, since only a simpleton wouldn’t want to adopt a word and help save the English language, right?
ennui (one of the trendy magazines that never never capitalized the first letter of its name) was the preferred monthly journal of those who preferred to …well you know. Not interested in this or that, they seldom looked forward to their ennui each month, but a subscription just seemed to drag on forever and a day. Lacking any focus in life, getting the subscription stopped was just more than they could focus on, so that wasn’t an option, either. Still published today, each copy of ennui is universally greeted by its subscriber with a “meh” and then tossed onto the coffee table where it gathers dust until someone gets around to just throwing it away.
Looking Glass by MoLily20
I want this pony so bad. You have no idea.
I’ve got a theory
That it’s a demon -
A dancing demon!
No, something isn’t right there…
I’ve got a theory
Some kid is dreamin’
And we’re all stuck
Inside his wacky broadway nightmare.
I’ve got a theory
We should work this out.
It’s getting eerie
What’s this cheery singing all about?
It could be witches!
Some evil witches!
[Tara and Willow glare]
… which is ridiculous, ‘cause witches they were persecuted,
Wicca good, and love the earth, and woman power,
And I’ll be over here…
Buffy The Vampire Slayer | 6x07: “Once More, With Feeling”
I present, for your perusal, what happens when you and your friends take a joke too far: The imaginary menu for an imaginary theme restaurant, Gothburger:
Love Will Tear Us Aperitif:
- I Don’t Wanna Fall In Loaf
- Terrible Rye
- Bela Legosi’s Bread
- Alien Sex Fries
- Skinny Hush Puppies
Siouxsie Soups: (Available in our delicious Bread Like A Bowl)
- Juju Jambalaya
- Red-Eyed, Screaming Ghoulash
- The Passion of Lentils
- Bisque Them For Me
- The Killing Spoon
Cradle of Fish: (Every Fillet is Exactly The Same)
- Trout Reznor
- Terror Couple Carpaccio
- Sushi Sioux
Dark Entrées: (I Don’t Want To Fall In Lunch)
- Fried Eggs I’m In Love
- The Ham that Feeds
- March of the Pigs in a Blanket
- Enjoy the Salami
- Sex Gang Chicken
- Dig, Lasagna, Dig
- The Downward Spätzle
- She’s in Pastas
- Fields of Mezzelune
Under the Bun: (Our burgers are cooked to order, from drenched-in-blood, to black-as-my-soul)
- Dimu Burger
- BLT Nation
- In the Flatbread Field
- Shawarma Sometimes
- Blasphemous Reuben
- Lacuna Broil
Soy Division: (When You Don’t See Meat)
- The Mushroom UK
- The Hanging Garden Salad
- Eggrolls & The Bunnymen
- The Falafel Party
- Nine Inch Gnocci
Pretty Cake Machine: (Dessert Kisses)
- Tiramisù des Vampires
- Pie, Little Sister
- Razed in Black Forest Cake
- Black Stone Tart
- Dead Cannoli Dance
Lucretia, My Refreshments:
- Cabernet Voltaire
- In Fear of Beer
- Black (and Tan) Planet
- Nine White Wine
- My Bloody Mary
OMFG KILL ME. This is hilarioussssssssssssss
Are there Sappymeals available for the children?
This is AMAZING!! =D ♥ ♥ ♥
my week is made.